Monday, 12 January 2015

5 Things I've Learnt in Our First Year Together

Yesterday (11th January) marks one year since Andy and I officially got together. Of course, we'd spent the week leading up to that being inseparable  and the three weeks leading up to that talking constantly but we needed "a date" so we chose the 11th, incidentally, this was the first time I told him I loved him and he said it back so.. it fits!

We celebrated this weekend by staying at a hotel (more on that later this week), a lovely meal and some beautiful flowers! But I was also thinking of what I've learnt from Andy and about love and relationships in the last year.  I hope you'll allow me to a bit soppy and reflective as I list 5 things I've learnt in our first year together: 

1. It's possible to miss someone instantaneously- When Andy came back up to Chester after Easter and I stayed in Bournemouth, I cried and told my mum I was being pathetic. She told me that it wasn't pathetic to miss someone, and that she hates going to work because she misses my stepdad and it's true. Sometimes, despite spending the majority of my time outside of work with Andy, I'll sit at my desk and miss him so damn much. When we were both in America at separate times things just didn't seem quite right. We're better together. 

2. It's easy to become absorbed in coupleness- I always said I would never be someone who forgot to see their friends because of a boyfriend. But, especially living together, it becomes incredibly easy to get in to a Laura and Andy bubble (which is a wonderful place to be, by the way). I had to teach myself and reteach myself to be on my own, to see my friends, to have separate things to do. I'm still learning this one. 

3. When you want to be with someone forever, you can't wait for forever to begin- This is such a cliche, I know. But I always scorned couples who met and got engaged quickly. Then I met Andy and I knew pretty much from day one that I wanted to marry him and suddenly waiting until we'd been together "long enough" didn't make sense. All I said was I wanted to be together 6 months before we got engaged. Not because I'd know him any better or be any more sure, just so it was more socially acceptable (we'd actually been together 9 months when we got engaged) . I've also learnt it's not really anyone else's business, but that's a different post altogether. 

4. Fighting dirty is easy, the guilt afterwards is not- A friend said to me a few months ago "when you love someone you know exactly how to hurt them the worst" it's soo true. It's so easy in the heat of the moment to throw the worst things at someone but when things have calmed down I regret it so so much. I'm not saying not to argue, but I'm definitely learning how to fight fair. 

5. Other peoples families are weird- I'm from a family of 7 siblings and 4 parents. Andy has grown up as only child with his mum and his maternal grandparents. I've really had to adjust to the differences and learn a lot about grace. Equally, my family probably seems completely nuts to him! 

So this one is for Andy, who has taught me so much and is still teaching me how to wink! 

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