Thursday, 14 September 2017

Our Infertility Story: One Year On



September 14th is significant to me. Not only because it's apparently gobstopper day but because it marks exactly a year since I took my last contraceptive pill.

I look back on a journal entry I wrote on 25th September 2016 and cringe a little. "I guess that means I'm now fertile... I'm trying not to stress about how long it might take". But I remember feeling so sure that it would only take a couple of months. That I'd definitely be pregnant by my birthday in February.

I don't think anyone starts trying for a baby and thinks that in a year they won't be heavily pregnant or holding their baby. Certainly, I didn't expect that a year down the line I'd have had multiple hospital visits, all sorts of scans and blood tests and be due to start fertility drugs next week. 

What would I tell myself a year on?

I'd start by telling myself that I am stronger than I, and a few others, give myself credit for. That I can cry and rage until it feels like my heart might break and then wake up in the morning and face the day again. I've sometimes wondered if people confuse tears and feelings of despair with weakness, they are not synonymous. 

It's been a year of immense lows with crippling anxiety. There have been tears, anger and insomnia. 

But I have learnt so much. Not only about my body, but about myself. 

I'm a much healthier version of myself thanks to the lifestyle changes I've made: acupuncture, swimming, yoga, diet changes. 

I'm more assertive and confident, as a result of pushing for answers and appointments. 

My relationship with God is transformed. I've definitely felt for a while that I've been going through the emotions to knowing how to reach out to him, that it's ok to make prayer more of chatting away than sitting in deep, revered silence and hoping to hear something. 

I've met some incredible people. Including my whatsapp queens, a group of girls who are also experiencing infertility. It has been so wonderful to feel so loved, understood and known by women I count as my tribe. Their stories not only break my heart but bring me so much hope. 

Do I think 14th September 2018 will hold the same level of significance? or by then will I be holding our baby in my arms? I really hope so. But I've learnt to accept that there are no guarantees. All I can do is trust God, believe that Clomid could be a miracle drug for me, and ride each wave with my husband, family and friends by my side and counting every blessing. 


Wednesday, 13 September 2017

Wedding Wednesday: What's your First Dance Style?


Hello! Happy Wedding Wednesday! The gorgeous, Roxana is here with us again this week to talk about things dance styles.

It seems that the online world is brimming with tips on which song to choose and which veil to pick for your special day, but how on Earth can you find the right tunes if you cannot define the perfect dance style for you and your spouse-to-be?

The following is a list of wedding-friendly dance styles that can help you decide whether you’d prefer a more traditional slow and squishy approach, or a more unconventional choreography to start off your adventure in style.

The classics for the romantics

Think: waltz or foxtrot, as these are the two most commonly chosen styles among couples who enjoy a nice rhythm to their moves, whether flowy or with a kick. So much music is written in the spirit of these predominant beats, that you’ll have a wide variety of songs to choose from, slow, quick, mild or upbeat.
The greatest perk is that it’s easy to learn, versatile and you’ll be able to use your skills long after you end your wedding dance. They’re perfect for any occasion, and their timeless styles can be easily adapted to many modern songs.
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The all-in-one combo for the hyper

Too indecisive to choose one song, or simply too excited to stick to one style? No problem! Select your top tunes, mash up their best segments into a single song, and you’ll have plenty of opportunity to express all sides of your perky personas.
I Can’t Help Falling in Love With You followed by Tutti Frutti, Welcome To The Jungle, Sway, to wrap up with Billy Jean? Why not, the sky’s the limit, and you can improvise on the spot or come up with your own choreography.

The hop for the hip

The free-spirited lovers of dance will appreciate the level of expression offered by modern, hip-hop music, which can be perfect for a memorable wedding dance to kick off your party like a pro. Also, versatile in terms of rhythm, anything from super slow to dizzying tempos can be your tune of choice.
For those who haven’t had a chance to try the style before, or might need an extra nudge to loosen their inner groove, taking adult dance classes is always an option. It’s liberating, empowering, and your feet will fall in love with the beat in no time.

The flash-mob style for the whole party

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If your groomsmen and bridesmaids are eager to take part in the first dance as well, you have the opportunity to take your special moment to a whole new level. Couples who love playful group choreographies can create a flash-mob first dance for their closest ones to join them!
Make sure that their outfits allow your desired moves, have someone surprise the guests with the music and who knows, maybe some of your guests will join in if the choreography is simple and catchy enough?

The swing for the flirty

You can pick up the basics of swing in pretty much the same amount of time as the waltz or the foxtrot, meaning that you’ll be comfortable on the dance floor in no time. For more ambitious couples, some of the moves from jitterbug, jive and boogie can take extra time, but will make for a fabulous spectacle.
It’s perfect for fast-paced songs and equally fidgety people, but tricky for those long wedding gowns, so it would be best to change into something more comfortable, such as a flowy dress with undershorts.
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The Argentinian traditional for the fiery

A close, intimate embrace and plenty of decorative moves of tango are ideal for those who want to get lost in their wedding dance and completely forget they’re surrounded by people. From traditional accordion-laden songs, all the way to modern electro-tango, there is a whole slew of inspiring songs to consider.

Tango is for the bold and the passionate, and while the basics can be learned quickly, there are expressive moves where both the bride and the groom can turn their dance into one of seduction and beauty.  
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